The roast of Merril Hoge brought me one of the odd highlights of my career. The roast is great because a loser like myself is able to skewer a fine upstanding successful member of society and get awawy with it. Mike Ditka all-pro, hall of fame, superbowl champion arrived on a first class flight and stayed at the luxurious william penn hotel. I took the T and went home to my rented duplex in brentwood. which is an indian word for “caucasian party.” But anyway, despite our socio-economic differences I was able to make fun of him to the point where Mike Ditka gave me the finger. My parents must be proud. Sometimes there is the misconception that because i occasionally appear on the radio that I must be doing okay. Just to let you in on the depth of my financial history I offer you this absolutely true and almost unbelieveable statistic. In thirty seven years on this planet. I have never once had a check in my hand with my name on it that consisted of four digits. No comedy, local tv, radio appearance or even string of appearances has garnered me a check of a thousand dollars. I’ve worked overtime for two weeks at certain restaurants and have never cleared the 4 digit hurdle. No tax return, loan check, personal check, no settlements nothing. I’ve never had to deal with the question. What would I do with a thousand dollars? i honestly don’t know. I guess asking Ditka for it is out of the question.

Connect With Mike


Follow Mike on Twitter